Enough has been said and written about India being the largest democracy in the world. The world has also recognised that being the foremost in activism means we are the most ‘active’ on all sorts of ‘rights’. India overflows with all kinds of rights and foreign nations are so alarmed that they have warned their tourists from coming to India.
Women’s Rights: This peaked after the Delhi Nirbhaya case of 2012 and gave an entirely new fillip to women’s rights. The great state of Uttar Pradesh which has provided the nation with several great prime ministers, as expected, led from the front on the issue of women’s rights. Even while being a clear leader on rape among Indian states, UP achieved a new distinction. Its brave and chivalrous men were not content with molesting and raping teenage girls. Going a step further, they hung the bodies of the victims from tree branches. It was universally acknowledged by UP politicians and those from the rest of the cow belt that this was a major leap forward on the issue of women’s rights.
Children’s Rights: Our widespread ‘activists’ spread all over the cow belt also reported remarkable progress in the field of children’s rights. For a brief time it was feared that parts of UP would escape the usual onslaught of Japanese encephalitis but the progress was maintained resulting in the usual death toll. This time the region was afflicted not only with Japanese encephalitis but also the Thai, Singapore, and Vietnam varieties of the epidemic. Children died not only from Japanese encephalitis but from several other types. UP and the rest of the cow belt thus maintained their enviable records in children’s rights. The achievement will be highlighted when prime minister Narendra Modi visits South East Asian nations including Japan during his forthcoming foreign trips.
Animal/Environment Rights: It was not just UP and the cow belt which lived up to their reputation in the field of multiple activisms; Mumbai, the city with an alleged soft heart did not lag behind. It exceeded its annual target in killing stray dogs and did not stop there. A couple of posh buildings in posh South Mumbai where flocks of birds like herons, egrets and seagulls had nested and laid eggs, hundreds of such nests which were broken up fell down, smashing eggs and newly hatched little birds. It was the first time that Mumbai had seen such a new strategy in protecting its own environment and upholding animal rights. Mind you, it was only bird rights which were violated! Protesting bird lovers filed complaints with the police and Municipal Corporation, the sole authority permitted to cut and trim tree branches. They rescued hundreds of birds and took them home but most of them did not survive the ordeal they underwent. The flat owners who saved the ‘society’ now call themselves, King Richard, King Henry and King John, British kings who were famous for their bird shoots which netted thousands of birds. It is likely that the three buildings in the compound will now be named after them.
Consumer Rights: Which other nation in the world has a shopping principle, ‘The shopkeeper is always right’. India has it. Some months back I gave a pair of shoes to be repaired. Only one of them was damaged and needed repairs but the vendor wanted both of them. A week later I went to claim my shoes. Putting one of them before me, the man explained, “Sorry Sir, this is your shoe which needed repairs. I lost the other one.” When I protested I could not walk home and manage with one shoe, he brought a packet which contained a single shoe of a different design and colour. “Try this sir,” he advised. “This one is the same size as your other missing shoe. In fact, superior quality. Who knows, you could be setting new trends in shoe fashions.”
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V. Gangadhar
The writer is a well-known satirist.[/column]